Sunday, February 11, 2007

Habitual Diet Starter

I start a new diet every Monday. Anyone else out there do this? I do well all week long and then the weekend hits. Like today, Sean took Agnes swimming and out to lunch with his mom so I could have a quiet day. He thought it would be nice if I could do nothing and give my back a chance to heal. It was heaven! He told me he would bring me home lunch. YAY!

My morning was very quiet and peaceful. I had a cup of coffee, watched a movie, and enjoyed the quiet. When he got home he had brought me a small order of cheese enchiladas. I was SO excited. I love Mexican food and I haven't had it in awhile. I took a giant first was horrible. I can't explain it other than it tasted like it came out of a tin can metal. Complete disappointment. After a small temper tantrum (it was 2 p.m. I hadn't eaten and I was crabby!) he told me he would get me anything I wanted. Anything. Ooooooh, this was my get out of jail free card! Double cheeseburger and French fries from Old School Burgers (a knock off of In N Out burgers)please! I inhaled it.

Now, I sit here feeling guilty as hell. I have a problem with feeling guilty after I eat. I disappoint myself so much when it comes to food. Instead of telling Sean "you don't need to get me anything. I will make a sammie." I get the most fattening, grossest meal possible. Why not get a single burger? Hell no! I want the biggest one possible! I know it isn't normal to feel guilt after eating but I can't help it. If anyone has an idea of how to get over the guilt please, please, please share it with me.

Perhaps I should skip dinner tonight. Nah, tomorrow is start a new diet day. Let the cycle continue.

1 comment:

Robyn said...

Been there, done that!