"Tutti fruiti" ~ Little Richard

Why do I love the Pacific Northwest? The farmer's markets here rock. We went to the Vancouver market today. I am really happy right now.




Can you say yum?

There strawberrys are amazing. The smell SO good.

The. Best. Cherries. Ever.

Apples the size of Aggie's head.

“The only cure for grief is action.” ~ G. H. Lewes

In 2002 I was pregnant with our first child. We were so excited and so naive. As soon as I found out I was pregnant I knew exactly how I wanted the nursery to look. It was going to be an explosion of Dr. Seuss. I bought every Dr. Seuss thing I could find. Stuffed Dr. Seuss characters, fabric, books, an extremely rare hand painted ceiling light fixture (this is hanging in Agnes' room. It is too cool and means too much to me), and 19 different figurines and snow globes. Well, those of you who know me know how this story ends*.

For the past 6 1/2 years I have kept these things locked in a closet. I didn't know what to do with them. When Agnes was born I couldn't bring myself to use them for her nursery. These weren't for her! These were for Saffy (the name we gave our baby boy). It just didn't seem right to decorate with them. It seemed disrespectful. Like if I used them it meant Saffy was just a thing that happened and not our child. I don't really know how to explain it. It's like if I keep them long enough it will turn back time and things will be made right.

When we moved to Portland I packed the figurines and snow globes in a clear, plastic tub. When we got to Portland they went in the basement. I didn't see them for months. Then they came with us when we moved to Vancouver. The tub ended up on a top shelf in our garage. Every time I pulled out or into the garage I would see them and think of Baby Saffy. Yesterday I had had enough. I asked Sean to bring in the clear, plastic tub filled with memories that need to go away.

I just listed all 19 figurines and snow globes on Ebay. As I was taking pictures of them I started to cry. Sean gave me a big hug and told me this is a really good thing. It is another step in the right direction of letting go. Sean is completely right that we don't need a museum to remember Saffy. We will never forget him.

Ugh.


**If you are new to my blog and you want to know the whole story I am more than happy to share with you. Just let me know

Stately Dargen Manor

We are finally in our new home in Vancouver, Washington. It took two guys 5 hours to pack and unpack the truck! It was awesome.

I wish I had more time to do a proper update but I need to start cleaning the kitchen so I can at least cook a decent dinner tonight. I am sick of plain green lettuce salads and turkey sammies! I went to Pastaworks today and picked up some yummy handmade spinach tagliatelle and handmade sauce for dinner. I can't wait to have a homemade dinner.

My mom is here for another 2 weeks. Let's hope it goes by really, really, really fast. :)

One should eat to live, not live to eat. ~ Cicero

Hooray! I found a Bikram studio in Vancouver. Even though Vancouver is a suburb of Portland trying to get to a 9 o'clock class in the middle of rush hour just doesn't appeal to me.

The studio practices the Bikram series of poses but can't call themselves a Bikram studio because they don't have a 3,000 sq. ft. room. That is just silly. I don't care though. I don't need the "brand name", ya know.

Tuesday, I hit up the Nike Employee Store (yes, I get to shop in one of the coolest stores ever...1/2 off Cole Haan anyone?) after yoga. I needed to get some new sports bras and some pants to wear during class. You need to wear tight fitting clothes so that is fun for me. :( I started trying things on and everything was too big! I went down one size in sports bras and cotton work out pants! WOOT! I also picked up a pair of Nike Mary Jane's for 15 bucks and Agnes a new pair of black hi-top chucks for 10 bucks. I love that store.

I found out that I can take my mom to the Niketown in downtown Portland and get her 40 percent off. She isn't allowed to go to the NES. I feel like such a snob :)

I feel so good this week. It is really weird but I feel clean. I don't know how to explain it. Not like clean from taking a shower but everything about me feels clean. Clean thoughts (maybe I should say positive LOL), clean on the inside and outside, clean eating, just clean.

Is it possible I am just really happy? Me, happy? No. Well, yes! Yes, I am really, really happy!!

Moving on, is a simple thing, what it leaves behind is hard. ~ Dave Mustaine

Around April 28th we are moving to Vancouver, WA to be closer to Sean's job at BPA. Right now he is driving almost 20 miles for the commute. Once we move we will be 10 minutes from his office. Vancouver is a suburb of Portland so we will still be by all the stuff I have come to love about this city.

The house we are moving into is HUGE! 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, living room, family room, eat in kitchen, and a formal dining room. I love the dining room. It is in its own room not one big room connected to a kitchen or other open areas. It is a real formal dining room. 

The house is so amazing. I seriously can't wait to get moved in!!

I am so excited about moving but really scared about the stress that comes with moving. I gained a few pounds with the move from Denver and have just now shed them. I hate not having a routine. I would be lying if I said I wouldn't miss the part of town we live in now. I have finally been able to put the GPS thingy away in my car. Oh well, I guess this means new adventures!

I just want to get back to my routine I had in Denver. Normal. Yeah, I am anything but normal! 

Here are a few pictures of the new house:

Let your head be more than a funnel to your stomach. ~ German Proverb

Tomorrow is the big day. I see the nutritionist tomorrow at 10. I am really nervous about this. She asked me to keep a food and activity journal for a week and to bring it with me. It is amazing what you can see about yourself when you write down everything you put in your mouth. 

This was not the best week to keep a food journal. It has been an extremely stressful week. We are moving to Vancouver in a few weeks to be closer to Sean's workplace. 

I tend to eat horribly when I am stressed and it is usually all sugar. Tonight I had a Twix bar. Now, I sit here feeling guilty as hell and fatter than a pig. 

Gee, I don't have any issues with food.