The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends

Met with the dietician yesterday. She was great! I felt totally at ease talking to her about my weight and bad eating habits. I was so nervous about giving her my food journal. I thought for sure she would tell me how horrible I am. She didn't say one bad thing about it. What she did say is there is room for improvement but that I don't need to deprive myself of anything. She wants me to practice Mindful Eating. 

Here are the tips she gave me:

1. Make eating purposeful, not mindless. 

2. Whenever you put food in your mouth, peel it, unwrap it, plate it, and sit and eat it. 

3. Engage all of the senses in the pleasure of eating to nourish your body. 

4. See what you eat. Enjoy the presentation, colors, and texture of the food. 

5. Take a few seconds to enjoy the aroma of the food in front of you. 

6. Take a moment before you start eating to relax. Take a few deep breaths. 

7. Slow down! Eat the lower calorie items on your plate first or eat in courses. This may be helpful to decrease the portions of the higher calorie food items because you will begin to feel more satisfied, less hungry. 

8. Remove visual stimulus to eat at home, office, and in your car. 

9. Practice, practice, practice. 

10. MINDFUL EATING IS A BEHAVIOR CHANGE. IT TAKES TIME!!

She gave me a couple of book titles to get. I ordered those off of abebooks.com. Super cheap, used books. There are some items made by Kashi she wants to me to have in the house as well. 

Overall, I think it was a very positive experience and I am hoping this old dog can learn some new tricks! 

Let your head be more than a funnel to your stomach. ~ German Proverb

Tomorrow is the big day. I see the nutritionist tomorrow at 10. I am really nervous about this. She asked me to keep a food and activity journal for a week and to bring it with me. It is amazing what you can see about yourself when you write down everything you put in your mouth. 

This was not the best week to keep a food journal. It has been an extremely stressful week. We are moving to Vancouver in a few weeks to be closer to Sean's workplace. 

I tend to eat horribly when I am stressed and it is usually all sugar. Tonight I had a Twix bar. Now, I sit here feeling guilty as hell and fatter than a pig. 

Gee, I don't have any issues with food. 

Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake. ~Author Unknown

Well, I did it. I took that giant step and told my doctor I am a stress eater. You may not think that is a hard thing to admit but it is. There is a sense of failure that comes with it. We talked about a few different ideas today. I will continue going to the gym, swimming with Agnes, and going for my walks.

There is also some medication involved. I had been on Merida for about 6 months. It worked great! I dropped 20 pounds. Can you say fantastic? It works amazing. There is only one small problem...it is 125 dollars a month. My insurance doesn't cover it, which is really stupid. My dr. had me start taking a low does of another medication that is suppose to help people with addictions. He seems to think I have a sugar addiction and I think he is right. I crave sugar. Morning, noon, and night it is all I want to eat. I haven't had sugar in two days. Instead, I have been eating those little clementine oranges. Now, don't start on me about the sugar in fruit. I do not believe in any diet that doesn't allow you fruit.

I am also cutting out the Diet Coke addiction. I love Diet Coke. Oh, how I love Diet Coke. My best friend Jody can testify my love of the Diet Coke. It is the perfect hang-over drink, it goes well with all food, and it has the best bubbles ever. The only time I never drank it is when I was pregnant. How is it you can give something up for 10 months of your life but as soon as you can you start up it comes back 1000 worse? Anyhoo, I haven't had a DC in two days.

The biggest step I am taking is next Tuesday I am meeting up with a dietitian at OHSU's Clinic of Health and Healing. As nervous as I am about this appointment I am also very excited. It is a nice feeling to have this team behind me to help me get healthy!! She wants me to bring a food and activity journal. The activity journal will be a piece of cake (HA!) but the food journal is going to be harder. How can I admit to a dietitian I made reuben sammies for dinner tonight? Sure, they were a healthy version but still. What is she going to say when she sees I don't eat brekkie? Give me a cup of coffee or 12 for brekkie and lunch and I am good to go.

They say the first step is the hardest so why does it feel like I have been crawling UP this staircase for the past 4 years?