Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake. ~Author Unknown

Well, I did it. I took that giant step and told my doctor I am a stress eater. You may not think that is a hard thing to admit but it is. There is a sense of failure that comes with it. We talked about a few different ideas today. I will continue going to the gym, swimming with Agnes, and going for my walks.

There is also some medication involved. I had been on Merida for about 6 months. It worked great! I dropped 20 pounds. Can you say fantastic? It works amazing. There is only one small problem...it is 125 dollars a month. My insurance doesn't cover it, which is really stupid. My dr. had me start taking a low does of another medication that is suppose to help people with addictions. He seems to think I have a sugar addiction and I think he is right. I crave sugar. Morning, noon, and night it is all I want to eat. I haven't had sugar in two days. Instead, I have been eating those little clementine oranges. Now, don't start on me about the sugar in fruit. I do not believe in any diet that doesn't allow you fruit.

I am also cutting out the Diet Coke addiction. I love Diet Coke. Oh, how I love Diet Coke. My best friend Jody can testify my love of the Diet Coke. It is the perfect hang-over drink, it goes well with all food, and it has the best bubbles ever. The only time I never drank it is when I was pregnant. How is it you can give something up for 10 months of your life but as soon as you can you start up it comes back 1000 worse? Anyhoo, I haven't had a DC in two days.

The biggest step I am taking is next Tuesday I am meeting up with a dietitian at OHSU's Clinic of Health and Healing. As nervous as I am about this appointment I am also very excited. It is a nice feeling to have this team behind me to help me get healthy!! She wants me to bring a food and activity journal. The activity journal will be a piece of cake (HA!) but the food journal is going to be harder. How can I admit to a dietitian I made reuben sammies for dinner tonight? Sure, they were a healthy version but still. What is she going to say when she sees I don't eat brekkie? Give me a cup of coffee or 12 for brekkie and lunch and I am good to go.

They say the first step is the hardest so why does it feel like I have been crawling UP this staircase for the past 4 years?