"Oh wait... was she a great big fat person? " ~ Jame Gumb

Since my back surgery at the end of May I have been taking it kind of easy. I have been doing Bikram but I do a lot of it at home instead of the studio. I think it has to do with the weather. It is finally summer here. The sun is out, the sky is blue, and you can actually feel warm!! Hurrah! I love practicing Bikram but it is so hard to go into that studio when it is so beautiful outside. I am thinking it may be my cold weather work-out. There is so much to do around here for exercise that I don't necessarily need to be in a stink studio heated to 105 degrees.

It makes me laugh when I look back at my blog. Here I am trying to lose weight but I keep posting pictures of sweet treats I have made. The good thing about making so many is that I don't like to eat them anymore. Trust me that is a good thing! I stepped on the scale today and I think I have hit a plateau. I haven't gone up or down for a couple of months. Totally frustrating. I'm not sure what is going on. I think the change up in my daily exercise will help.

Today is one of those days I feel like I am destined to be the fat girl. One of those days when I look in the mirror and realize my head is too small for my big body. Ugh. I am usually a pretty self confident person but there are some days when my weight gets the best of me. I hate these feelings. I truly do.

I guess all I can do is walk around the park again and cut my portions in half again. Hmmm, I have a feeling today is going to be bitchy.

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away"

A couple of weeks ago I bought some massively huge apples at the farmer's market. We had a few left over that were starting to get soft so I decided I had to bake something with them. I didn't have enough time to make a pie so I decided on French Apple Cobbler.

What is French Apple Cobbler? It is apple cobbler with the addition of vanilla. Oooooh, fancy!! It turned out really well. Agnes and Sean almost ate the whole thing.

FRENCH APPLE COBBLER

Ingredients:

Apple Filling:
5 cups tart apples, peeled, sliced
3/4 cup sugar + I throw in a couple tablespoons of brown sugar
2 tablespoons flour
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/4 cup water
1 tablespoon butter, softened
Topping:
1/2 cup flour, sifted
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons butter, softened
1 egg, slightly beaten
Preparation:

In a medium bowl, combine apples, 3/4 cup sugar, 2 tablespoons flour, cinnamon, 1/4 teaspoon salt, vanilla and water. Turn into a lightly buttered 9-inch square pan. Dot apples with 1 tablespoon butter.
Combine all topping ingredients. Beat with wooden spoon until batter is smooth. Drop batter in 9 portions, over the apples, spacing evenly. Batter will spread during baking. Bake 35 to 40 minutes at 375° or until apples are tender and crust is golden brown. Serve warm with cream or ice cream.


Okay, okay, I know I have been posting nice fattening recipes. I have been trying to keep up with my exercise but after the back surgery it has been really hard for me to get motivated again. I am so scared I am going to hurt myself again. I know Bikram would make my back feel so much better but I have a few pain killers left to help! :)

Anyway, an apple a day...right?

Serenity Now!! ~ Frank Costanza

Yesterday in class I did the floor bow all by myself. ALL BY MYSELF!! It felt so great to be able to do it and not have the instructor push my foot into my hand. Of course, my knees were screaming but they were screaming in a good way. I can't believe I can lay on my stomach, reach back, and grab my feet. Not too bad for a fat girl. LOL

I have been going 4-5 times a week and it is really starting to pay off. I have lost almost 2 inches around my chest, waist, and hips!! It feels great.

We move to the new house next Tuesday the 29th. We are so far from being done with the packing. It seems like it will never get done. After packing up our entire house in December I am hating packing even more now. But it will all be worth it when we get into our new giant house. It is so big. It will be nice to have some space.

My mom has been here since Tuesday and she isn't leaving until May 13th. I have a feeling I will be going to yoga a lot more. Serenity NOW!

Oh It's Such A Perfect Day, I'm Glad I Spent It With You. ~ Lou Reed

What a perfect day. It was 80° in Portland! I guess it never gets this warm this early in the season. I am so happy. I have missed the warm sun. I have seen the sun since I moved here but it hasn’t been warm. In Denver, we can have wonderfully warm days in the middle of winter but here you see the sun, get excited, run outside, and it is freezing! So not fair. ☺

Anyhoo, I went to Bikram this morning. I grabbed my right foot in the Full Bow pose! I still can’t grab both feet without some help but I can now grab each foot by itself! This is exciting for me. I have blown out both of my knees in skiing and mountain biking accidents. I have babied my knees for years. I would baby them in every yoga class, Nia class, or during any kind of exercise. I was so scared of the pain I felt when I injured them. Now? Now I charge forward in these yoga classes. I am bending my knees as hard as I can. There are some pretty loud and gross pops and creaks but it feels SO good. I still baby them while I am at home but in that heated studio I am knee squatting fool!

After class, I was in the locker room and two different women told me that I was improving so well. One girl, “C”, has been so supportive since my first couple of classes. She told me that my poses are looking great, my breathing is almost perfectly calm, and she can’t believe how quickly I built up my endurance. Then she gave me a great big hug. She is such a nice girl. I hope we can become friends outside of the studio. I am scared to ask her to go get coffee or something because of the Seattle Freeze. Yes, I live in Portland but I have been warned there is a Freeze here too.

Here is a description of the Seattle Freeze by the Seattle Times:

Those who move to Seattle also have another kind of story. But you don't broadcast this one. You keep it to yourself or whisper it to other transplants. It goes something like this:
You're talking to a co-worker/someone at a party/fill in the blank. In any other town, this person looks like someone with whom you might be friends. Potential friend asks, "So what are you up to this weekend?"
"Oh, I don't have any plans yet. I just moved to Seattle and don't really know anybody . . ."
You try not to look desperate.
Friend-to-be smiles and, for a brief, shining moment you think to yourself: Finally, someone is going to ask me to do something. Invite me to a party. Happy hour. Brunch with the girls. It'll be just like "Sex and the City." She'll be Charlotte; you'll be Carrie!
You feel a chill coming on. Still smiling, Friend-Not-On-Your-Life politely excuses herself, "Well, have a nice weekend then."
Ouch.
You've just experienced the infamous Seattle Freeze. It's the flip side of Seattle Nice. Welcome to Seattle . . . Now please go away.

I am scared of the Freeze. I don’t want to ask her to do something, get the cold shoulder, and then it be awkward at classes. Wow, it sounds like I am asking her out on a date. I have experienced this already with moms at playgrounds and mom groups. Very, very cliquey.

This having to make new friends is new to me. I have had my same group of friends in Denver for over 15 years. My best friend and I have known each other for 20. How do you make new friends? I sound really pathetic. LOL

Back to my perfect day. After class we drove up to Vancouver to sign some papers. From there we drove to the Multnomah Falls. What in the hell were we thinking?!?! The warmest day of the year so far and it’s a Saturday. We saw the falls from the road and quickly hightailed it out of there back to Portland. We stopped for lunch at Seasons & Regions for a late lunch. I hadn’t eat since 630 a.m. and I was starving! I ordered the eggs benedict with crab cakes. Holy moly it was good. Crab cake, eggs benedict..seriously YUM! I am proud of myself. I only ate the benedicts. I didn’t eat the freshly made scone and home fries that came with it. We headed home, changed clothes, and then walked up to the playground to let the Bug run free. We were up there for about an hour and then it was time to come home.

Agnes is asleep, Sean and I just a couple pieces of a Cheese deLite (1/2 carbs & ½ calories of regular pizza) pizza from Papa Murphy’s.

What a perfect day.

One should eat to live, not live to eat. ~ Cicero

Hooray! I found a Bikram studio in Vancouver. Even though Vancouver is a suburb of Portland trying to get to a 9 o'clock class in the middle of rush hour just doesn't appeal to me.

The studio practices the Bikram series of poses but can't call themselves a Bikram studio because they don't have a 3,000 sq. ft. room. That is just silly. I don't care though. I don't need the "brand name", ya know.

Tuesday, I hit up the Nike Employee Store (yes, I get to shop in one of the coolest stores ever...1/2 off Cole Haan anyone?) after yoga. I needed to get some new sports bras and some pants to wear during class. You need to wear tight fitting clothes so that is fun for me. :( I started trying things on and everything was too big! I went down one size in sports bras and cotton work out pants! WOOT! I also picked up a pair of Nike Mary Jane's for 15 bucks and Agnes a new pair of black hi-top chucks for 10 bucks. I love that store.

I found out that I can take my mom to the Niketown in downtown Portland and get her 40 percent off. She isn't allowed to go to the NES. I feel like such a snob :)

I feel so good this week. It is really weird but I feel clean. I don't know how to explain it. Not like clean from taking a shower but everything about me feels clean. Clean thoughts (maybe I should say positive LOL), clean on the inside and outside, clean eating, just clean.

Is it possible I am just really happy? Me, happy? No. Well, yes! Yes, I am really, really happy!!

“Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it” ~ Lily Tomlin

My life is so full of stress right now. UGH! I want to bury my head in a pillow and scream. I want to take to bed and not get out for two weeks. 

I've been very careful not to stress eat. Before I eat anything I ask myself 5 times if I am hungry. It is a great practice to follow. It is hard but it works. 

I did something yesterday I have never been able to do. I was craving chocolate badly so I bought a small chocolate bar. I cut it in half and put the other half in the cupboard. It is still in the cupboard. I just don't want anymore. Never in my life have I done that. 

Another new part of my life is breakfast. I never eat breakfast unless I am on vacation or we make waffles/pancakes on a Sunday morning. I have eaten breakfast everyday since I saw the nutritionist. Now I eat a couple pieces of fruit, cereal, or oatmeal. I can definitely tell the difference. I have so much more energy and I don't seem to be as cranky. 

The yoga is helping some with the stress. It gives me 2 hours, 4 days a week for myself. I don't have to think about anything except my breathing and poses. 

Although, if I didn't have stress in my life I am not sure what I would do. It seems to be the only constant in my life. :)

“I was an anti-advertisement for yoga" ~ S. Iyengar

This is my challenge for the month of April or until my mom gets here on the 22nd. But she already knows I have to keep going to the yoga classes. I miss my mom horribly but she is going to be here for three weeks so I am definitely going to need a break! 

1. Exercise every day. 

a. Tuesday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday Bikram yoga. 

b. Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday carido and weights at the YMCA. 

2. Eat mindfully. 

3. Drink 1 cup of Superfood everyday. 

4. Eat fruit everyday. 

5. Eat breakfast everyday. 

6. Continue to drink 1 gallon of water everday. 

7. Continue to work on portion control. 

8. Quit snacking! Ugh, this is where I fail the most. They maybe veggie chips but it's not like they are good for you! When I get bored I snack. It's bad. 

Wow. That is a lot but I can do it.  I have to do it. 

I went to yoga Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Tuesday. I feel amazing. I think the mix of yoga, cardio, and weights is really going to help me bust past this plateau.