Baby, it's cold outside!

I have never seen so many people freak out about snow. Portland is so completely different than Denver. This city has been pretty much shut down and in a panic since Sunday. Chains were required for driving in the city!! In all my years of living in Colorado I have never used chains. Not driving through the mountains and most definitely not in the city limits. It has been an amusing day of watching ARCTIC BLAST 2008 on my local news all day. It makes for some good tv viewing.

Now, I am not saying the roads haven't been bad but it is the complete panic that makes me giggle. Here is a video that will give you an idea of how bad some of the roads are. This was taken from a condo down on the waterfront about two blocks from my doctor's office. I was suppose to have an appt. yesterday but I cancelled. Thank goodness or I could have been one of these cars!

“The only cure for grief is action.” ~ G. H. Lewes

In 2002 I was pregnant with our first child. We were so excited and so naive. As soon as I found out I was pregnant I knew exactly how I wanted the nursery to look. It was going to be an explosion of Dr. Seuss. I bought every Dr. Seuss thing I could find. Stuffed Dr. Seuss characters, fabric, books, an extremely rare hand painted ceiling light fixture (this is hanging in Agnes' room. It is too cool and means too much to me), and 19 different figurines and snow globes. Well, those of you who know me know how this story ends*.

For the past 6 1/2 years I have kept these things locked in a closet. I didn't know what to do with them. When Agnes was born I couldn't bring myself to use them for her nursery. These weren't for her! These were for Saffy (the name we gave our baby boy). It just didn't seem right to decorate with them. It seemed disrespectful. Like if I used them it meant Saffy was just a thing that happened and not our child. I don't really know how to explain it. It's like if I keep them long enough it will turn back time and things will be made right.

When we moved to Portland I packed the figurines and snow globes in a clear, plastic tub. When we got to Portland they went in the basement. I didn't see them for months. Then they came with us when we moved to Vancouver. The tub ended up on a top shelf in our garage. Every time I pulled out or into the garage I would see them and think of Baby Saffy. Yesterday I had had enough. I asked Sean to bring in the clear, plastic tub filled with memories that need to go away.

I just listed all 19 figurines and snow globes on Ebay. As I was taking pictures of them I started to cry. Sean gave me a big hug and told me this is a really good thing. It is another step in the right direction of letting go. Sean is completely right that we don't need a museum to remember Saffy. We will never forget him.

Ugh.


**If you are new to my blog and you want to know the whole story I am more than happy to share with you. Just let me know

"Things I Overheard While Talking to Myself" ~ Alan Alda

Wow. This is a huge post all about me! Well, I guess there are a few other people mentioned. LOL

We are finally starting to get things settled in the new house. My mom left on Tuesday after being here for three weeks. It was a lot of fun having her here but I am so glad she is gone. LOL I know that sounds horrible but we can finally just lounge and work around our house without having to entertain anyone.

We are still unpacking boxes but I am in no hurry to get everything unpacked. The kitchen is unpacked, Agnes’ room is unpacked, and the living room. I have a feeling we are going to be living her for a very long time so if things are still in boxes that is okay with me. ☺

Everyone on our street is so nice. We have been invited to the Memorial Day block party. We are becoming good friends with the people who live behind us. They have a little 3 year old girl too! She and Agnes have been playing together almost everyday. It is so awesome. It makes me so happy to know that Agnes will have friends to play with everyday.

I finally finished planting all the flowers in our front yard. I planted 240 petunias, 10 alyssum, 4 giant geraniums, and 4 massive hanging planters. It is going to look awesome when everything starts growing in. I will get some pics of the front yard later today. It is 92° so I am done being outside. I am not used to this hot, sticky weather. It is going to take some getting used to.

This is our backyard. I am going to be working on it this weekend. It needs a lot of trimming, weeds pulled, and some love. When it is done it is going to be the coolest backyard ever. I even have my own Virgin Mary statue. You have no idea how happy that makes me.


Bleeding Hearts

My own personal Virgin!

Our secret garden

Let’s see what else has been going on the past three weeks. I think I showed my mom everything you need to see in the Portland metro area. We did the Chinese Gardens, Powell’s Books, and The Saturday Market (I love the Saturday Market. It is where I buy my soap. If you get a chance go to Dirtyfacesoap.com. She makes the most amazing soap. I will never use anything else on Agnes’ skin again or mine). I took her for walks along the Willamette and the Columbia Rivers, took her to Ikea, Pastaworks, Washington Park playground
loads of yummy dinners, and we had some really nice days hanging out at the house chatting and cooking with Agnes. I know we did more but I took a couple Vicodin about an hour ago and I am not concentrating so well. ☺

This is a picture of us at the Vancouver Farmer’s Market. Not the greatest market (I will keep going to the PSU one) but we had fun.


We celebrated Mother’s Day with my mom last weekend. We went to The Restaurant at the Historic Reserve. It was fantastic. Here are a couple pictures:


The Fam.


I adore this picture. I had to lean down because I was wearing 4-inch heels. LOL

My mom watched Agnes a couple of nights so Sean and I could go out for dinner. The first night we went out to a kind of fancy place. The second we hit up the Salmon Creek Brew Pub. It was a nice pub the beer is okay. No pilsner so I actually had a couple IPA’s. If you know me you know I am not an IPA fan. Too hoppy! But it wasn’t so bad. Sean and I were having such a blast being out by ourselves that we didn’t want to go straight home. So what do you do when you have a babysitter for the first time in months? PUT-PUT GOLF! We had such a blast!!! I even beat Sean!! LOL It was one of the most fun dates we have had in a really long time. I love being married to such a fun guy.




Agnes took this picture of us a couple mornings ago. I love this picture so much!



Tomorrow we are heading over the river to the PSU Farmer’s Market to shop for fresh produce. I haven’t been to the market for a few weeks. I miss having fresh veggies and fruit in the house. Sunday I am going to yoga. I haven’t been in over a week and I am feeling it. I have been way too busy with my mom and the house to get to the studio.

The big news is on May 30th I am having back surgery again. I am really scared about it. I am not sure why I am so nervous this time but I am. I guess it is because I am so far from my family and my mom can’t come over to take care of me. I really need to go to yoga as much as possible the next 10 days so I can get loose and limber before the surgery. My back has been feeling like it is getting worse.

Perhaps planting all those flowers wasn’t such a great idea. At least I have some good drugs to get me until the 30th. LOL

Oh It's Such A Perfect Day, I'm Glad I Spent It With You. ~ Lou Reed

What a perfect day. It was 80° in Portland! I guess it never gets this warm this early in the season. I am so happy. I have missed the warm sun. I have seen the sun since I moved here but it hasn’t been warm. In Denver, we can have wonderfully warm days in the middle of winter but here you see the sun, get excited, run outside, and it is freezing! So not fair. ☺

Anyhoo, I went to Bikram this morning. I grabbed my right foot in the Full Bow pose! I still can’t grab both feet without some help but I can now grab each foot by itself! This is exciting for me. I have blown out both of my knees in skiing and mountain biking accidents. I have babied my knees for years. I would baby them in every yoga class, Nia class, or during any kind of exercise. I was so scared of the pain I felt when I injured them. Now? Now I charge forward in these yoga classes. I am bending my knees as hard as I can. There are some pretty loud and gross pops and creaks but it feels SO good. I still baby them while I am at home but in that heated studio I am knee squatting fool!

After class, I was in the locker room and two different women told me that I was improving so well. One girl, “C”, has been so supportive since my first couple of classes. She told me that my poses are looking great, my breathing is almost perfectly calm, and she can’t believe how quickly I built up my endurance. Then she gave me a great big hug. She is such a nice girl. I hope we can become friends outside of the studio. I am scared to ask her to go get coffee or something because of the Seattle Freeze. Yes, I live in Portland but I have been warned there is a Freeze here too.

Here is a description of the Seattle Freeze by the Seattle Times:

Those who move to Seattle also have another kind of story. But you don't broadcast this one. You keep it to yourself or whisper it to other transplants. It goes something like this:
You're talking to a co-worker/someone at a party/fill in the blank. In any other town, this person looks like someone with whom you might be friends. Potential friend asks, "So what are you up to this weekend?"
"Oh, I don't have any plans yet. I just moved to Seattle and don't really know anybody . . ."
You try not to look desperate.
Friend-to-be smiles and, for a brief, shining moment you think to yourself: Finally, someone is going to ask me to do something. Invite me to a party. Happy hour. Brunch with the girls. It'll be just like "Sex and the City." She'll be Charlotte; you'll be Carrie!
You feel a chill coming on. Still smiling, Friend-Not-On-Your-Life politely excuses herself, "Well, have a nice weekend then."
Ouch.
You've just experienced the infamous Seattle Freeze. It's the flip side of Seattle Nice. Welcome to Seattle . . . Now please go away.

I am scared of the Freeze. I don’t want to ask her to do something, get the cold shoulder, and then it be awkward at classes. Wow, it sounds like I am asking her out on a date. I have experienced this already with moms at playgrounds and mom groups. Very, very cliquey.

This having to make new friends is new to me. I have had my same group of friends in Denver for over 15 years. My best friend and I have known each other for 20. How do you make new friends? I sound really pathetic. LOL

Back to my perfect day. After class we drove up to Vancouver to sign some papers. From there we drove to the Multnomah Falls. What in the hell were we thinking?!?! The warmest day of the year so far and it’s a Saturday. We saw the falls from the road and quickly hightailed it out of there back to Portland. We stopped for lunch at Seasons & Regions for a late lunch. I hadn’t eat since 630 a.m. and I was starving! I ordered the eggs benedict with crab cakes. Holy moly it was good. Crab cake, eggs benedict..seriously YUM! I am proud of myself. I only ate the benedicts. I didn’t eat the freshly made scone and home fries that came with it. We headed home, changed clothes, and then walked up to the playground to let the Bug run free. We were up there for about an hour and then it was time to come home.

Agnes is asleep, Sean and I just a couple pieces of a Cheese deLite (1/2 carbs & ½ calories of regular pizza) pizza from Papa Murphy’s.

What a perfect day.

One should eat to live, not live to eat. ~ Cicero

Hooray! I found a Bikram studio in Vancouver. Even though Vancouver is a suburb of Portland trying to get to a 9 o'clock class in the middle of rush hour just doesn't appeal to me.

The studio practices the Bikram series of poses but can't call themselves a Bikram studio because they don't have a 3,000 sq. ft. room. That is just silly. I don't care though. I don't need the "brand name", ya know.

Tuesday, I hit up the Nike Employee Store (yes, I get to shop in one of the coolest stores ever...1/2 off Cole Haan anyone?) after yoga. I needed to get some new sports bras and some pants to wear during class. You need to wear tight fitting clothes so that is fun for me. :( I started trying things on and everything was too big! I went down one size in sports bras and cotton work out pants! WOOT! I also picked up a pair of Nike Mary Jane's for 15 bucks and Agnes a new pair of black hi-top chucks for 10 bucks. I love that store.

I found out that I can take my mom to the Niketown in downtown Portland and get her 40 percent off. She isn't allowed to go to the NES. I feel like such a snob :)

I feel so good this week. It is really weird but I feel clean. I don't know how to explain it. Not like clean from taking a shower but everything about me feels clean. Clean thoughts (maybe I should say positive LOL), clean on the inside and outside, clean eating, just clean.

Is it possible I am just really happy? Me, happy? No. Well, yes! Yes, I am really, really happy!!

Moving on, is a simple thing, what it leaves behind is hard. ~ Dave Mustaine

Around April 28th we are moving to Vancouver, WA to be closer to Sean's job at BPA. Right now he is driving almost 20 miles for the commute. Once we move we will be 10 minutes from his office. Vancouver is a suburb of Portland so we will still be by all the stuff I have come to love about this city.

The house we are moving into is HUGE! 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, living room, family room, eat in kitchen, and a formal dining room. I love the dining room. It is in its own room not one big room connected to a kitchen or other open areas. It is a real formal dining room. 

The house is so amazing. I seriously can't wait to get moved in!!

I am so excited about moving but really scared about the stress that comes with moving. I gained a few pounds with the move from Denver and have just now shed them. I hate not having a routine. I would be lying if I said I wouldn't miss the part of town we live in now. I have finally been able to put the GPS thingy away in my car. Oh well, I guess this means new adventures!

I just want to get back to my routine I had in Denver. Normal. Yeah, I am anything but normal! 

Here are a few pictures of the new house:

"Life is trying things to see if they work" ~ Ray Bradbury

Yes, August was my last post. Life has taken some pretty unexpected turns in the past 6 months. Things I never imagined happening. In December, we moved to Portland, Oregon. We were moving so we could be closer to Sean's dad who had been ill. Jim passed away on November 30th. I miss Jim greatly. He was such a fun guy. It really sucks for Agnes that she will never know her Grandpa.

It has been a year since I started this blog and guess what? I am not skinny! Am I sad? No! I am 20 pounds lighter than I was when I started this journal. And, you know what? THAT ROCKS! I am still working out as much as I can. I have finally found a gym here in Portland that I love. I have been doing my cardio stuff and started back up with the weights. I have been taking Nia classes as well. They are so much fun but I feel like a complete idiot dancing around. I am trying to find a yoga instructor that I like. Until I do I will continue doing yoga here at home. Agnes loves doing yoga or oh-ga with me. She will roll out my mat, step into Mountain pose, and yell "Mommy! Oh-ga! Now!" I may not get to my full routine but who cares when I can do Oh-ga with my Bug.

I will be having back surgery again in May/June. I am really hoping this is the last time I will have to have it done. It is such an inconvineice. At least Agnes is going to "school" two days a week so that should help with my recovery time.

I have some friends who have just started a blog of their own called Wheres My Damn Answer Weblog - Five Girls on Wine Looking for the Answer. Swing on by for a read. They are a bunch of really fun gals.

Now, that I have a little bit more time on my hands I really hope to keep up with my journal. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know I have said it before but I am thinking the more I write about this journey the more it will help me.