Friday, April 24, 2009

Four Years Ago Today

The most perfect little girl was born. I can't believe it has been four years since Agnes arrived in my life. It has been the best four years of my entire life. She is the most amazing, smart, funny, sympathetic, beautiful, loving, and wonderful little girl in the world. I am honored to be her mommy.

Every year I repost my birth story. I have a friend who doesn't understand birth stories but she will in October when she has her first baby. She will love her story and it will bring her so much joy when she thinks of it. I love my birth story. It is my story. It is Sean's story. And, most importantly it is Agnes' story.

This was first posted on April 28, 2005 at 9:38 p.m. She was 4 days old.


Hi everyone,

Wow, I never knew how in love I could be with someone. Miss Agnes is the most wonderful gorgeous little girl I have ever been around.

Okay, on with the birth story. It is a long one. Friday we went for our OB appt. and they did an ultrasound. My amniotic fluid was low so the OB said “You are going to be induced today!” We headed over to Labor & Delivery and we were EXCITED! We got into our room and they gave me something called Mizo (?) to get my cervix softened. By Saturday morning I was still at 2 cm. I was a bit bummed, so they gave me Pitocin and said I would have the baby that afternoon. I called Laura (my birth assistant) and she came down to the hospital to help Sean with the hypnobirthing affirmations and massage. Well, about 3 hours later they had the Pitocin so high, the nurses and doctors were a little freaked out that my surges weren’t killing me. So, I was having loads of contractions but I just wouldn’t dilate. That night they gave me Progesteglandin (SP, excuse my spelling of this stuff my mind is mush LOL) to get my cervix going. They checked Sunday morning I was still only 2 cm. At this point I was so tired I was convinced I was never even pregnant. The doctor on call gave me 3 options at this point. 1. Go home (don’t think so), 2. Have a C-section, or 3. Break my waters. I opted for number 2 because I was extremely exhausted and just wanted my baby out, but then the doctor said they don’t really like to perform them unless they are absolutely necessary. Fine, but why did they offer it? The broke my water and hooked me up to Pitocin and away we went. In 3 hours I was 6 1/2 cm dilated and we were excited! It was at about this time I decided to have an epidural. The hypnobirthing completely worked, I was not in any pain. The reason I took one is because my body was tired and not really responding what I was telling it, I don’t know if that makes any sense at all. Got the epidural and 3 hours later I was at 9 1/2 cm!! Woo-hoo!! Our families came flying down to the hospital, nurses and family members were taking bets on when she would come out, and all was good. It was around this time the epidural ran out Sean and Laura worked with me and we continued with massage, music, and hypnobirthing affirmations. It was absolutely amazing how well it worked. I was completely relaxed and ready to accept whatever turn my birthing took. However, I was not expecting what happened. I was stuck at 9 1/2 cm for 3-4 hours. The doctors told me I had to have a c-section (hmmm, wouldn’t this had been easier 9 hours earlier??). Anyhoo, they wheel me into the OR and my only request was everyone be laughing when we brought into the world. I have always thought it would be the best way to be born. At 8:30 p.m. they pulled her out, we were all laughing, and she was just PERFECT! Then all hell started. My anesthesia wore off. I could feel the doctors moving my insides, pulling things, and I could tell them how many hands were in my stomach. At one point I just lost it and started screaming bloody murder. It took them 10 minutes to call the anesthesiology back into the OR so he could help me. He finally got back and knocked me out completely. It was the scariest thing that has ever happened to me or Sean. Surgery without anesthesia! Can you even believe it? There is much more to the story like hospital admin. people trying to find out what Sean and I are going to do about it. We haven’t really made up our minds but we think they should have to pay for therapy to get over the trauma and of course a million dollars wouldn’t hurt either. We are so pissed off about the whole thing. Although, it was horrifying, scary, at least two things happened on my birth plan; Agnes came into the world with laughter and she came into to the world to me and Sean.

We love her so very much. I can’t even imagine life without her. Our life before her has faded and she is everything to us.

The last line explains how we still feel about her. Happy Birthday Bug. May the next year bring you much joy and happiness.

I love you,


Andrea said...

Happy Birthday Agnes, I hope you had a wonderful day!!

My little girl turned 4 on April 23rd :) I can't believe she is 4, where oh where did the time go?

Suzie said...

What a story - I have two girls (12 and 10), and my first birth was a bit like yours (36 hours + emergency caesar at the end because I only dilated to 9.5cms...). Lucky me the anaesthetic problems were very low key compred to yours. Congratulations to you and your girl. Hope you had a great day.