Falling Off The Wagon-The worst part is, you swear you won't. You swear you won't, and then you do, and then the evening is lost. ~Ben No

What is it about stress that makes a person eat? The stress level here at Casa Dargen is through the roof. Sean is flying out of town for an interview on Tuesday. If he accepts the job we will be moving to Arkansas. Talk about stress!

Today, my mom and I went out for shopping and lunch. We had gyros and falafels for lunch. Then tonight for dinner I made my version of Maggiano’s House salad, bowtie pasta, and chicken parmigiana. It was fattening and absolutely delicious. But did I stop there? No. After dinner I hate 4 huge pieces of English toffee.

Seriously, what is wrong with me? We have been eating so crappy the past week and half. I have had no motivation to cook dinners each night, which means take out. I feel like I am getting fatter not skinnier. My trainer is going to kill me when I tell her of my recent eating habits. It is like I have fallen part way off the wagon and am holding on with one hand.

How do I pull myself up? I want to be the one driving the wagon not just hanging on. I think once Sean finds a new job everything will get back to normal. I wish I were the type of person that doesn’t eat when they are stressed or depressed. Hmmm, I wonder if I can change my way of thinking…

It is a very mixed blessing to be brought back from the dead. ~K.V.

A man who made a difference in my life has died. Kurt Vonnegut may have died but his words will be with me until I die. I hope my daughter has the same admiration for him.

So it goes.

Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun

Oh my Goddess, today has been a horrible food day! This is what painkillers can do to me.

Yesterday we took Agnes to the children’s museum to run around. While we were there she crawled into a cave and I decided to crawl in after her. BIG MISTAKE! I completely jacked my back muscles up. It was so bad last night I ended up at Urgent Care. I was relieved this has nothing to do with the back surgery I had in February. The doctor gave me some muscle relaxants and painkillers. I took some today and all I wanted was a Big Mac.

I haven’t had a Big Mac in years! It probably tasted so good because I was high on Vicodin. Hahaha Then tonight for dinner I made Chicken Marsala and not a low fat version either. This recipe is full of butter, whipping cream, and freaking amazing! Here is the recipe http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/recipe_views/views/232152. It is SO delicious.

Anyhoo, I guess we all have to fall off the wagon sometimes. I went to the gym today for a light workout so I don’t feel as guilty as I should. ☺ Here is a tip: if you ever hurt your back be sure to keep moving around. It truly helps it feel better. If you sit or lay around your back will get stiff and hurt even more.

Tomorrow I need to crawl back up onto the wagon and ride it all the way back to the gym!

Pump it. Pump it real good!

Wow! It has been so long since I made a post. Things here at the Casa have been crazy. Family has come into town, Sean was laid off, Agnes was sick, I was sick, etc.

My Grandma is in town and today we went to Red Robin for lunch. Everyone got these huge burgers, fries, and chocolate malts! Don’t worry I behaved myself. I had a cobb salad with no dressing. But, man, I could have eaten a basket of those fries. They looked so yummy.

I have started back on lifting weights 3-4 times a week. I can seriously feel my body getting stronger. It is such a cool feeling!

Somehow my personal trainer found out that I know how to decorate cakes. She asked if I would make a Napoleon Dynamite cake for her sons 14th birthday. We made the best deal. I will make the cake and she will give me 4 1-hour training sessions! WOOT!! 4 sessions are around 285 bucks. I think I am definitely getting the better end of the deal, but shhhhhhhhhh, don’t tell her that. ☺

Hopefully, the next few weeks will be less crazy and I can update more. I have so much I want to write about!!