Scratch Happy Toddlers

It has been a few days since I last posted. It has been a crazy week. The good news the scale is slowly sliding downward. Woo-hoo!! The bad news I am not sure about the child watch at my gym anymore. I know this is a diet blog but I am a mommy first and foremost.

Yesterday I took Aggie to the gym and left her in child watch. About 15 minutes later a mom comes up to me and says “I am really sorry buy my little girl scratch your little girls face. It is just a little scratch by her eye”. I get off the machine I am on and go back to child watch. I see Aggie and my stomach sank. She had bloody scratches all over her face. Her face is a scratched up disaster. It is horrible and bloody. At this point I am still okay with that it happened. Kids will be kids. I guess the other child wanted the toy Aggie was playing with. The other mom and her kid leaves after loads of “I’m so sorry”s. As soon as the door closes one of the child watch women tell me Aggie is the third child that has been attacked by her! I was pissed! I headed toward to the lobby to speak with the manager. When I got to the lobby the mom was sitting there so I told I was going to ask Tom to remove her child from child watch because she had done this twice before. She looked at me with a strange look on her face and said “this is the first time she had ever been in here”. Huh. I get Tom (the GM) and we all go back to child watch. When Tom asks what they told me the child watch women both say “WE NEVER SAID THAT!” What the fuck?!?! By this time I am fuming mad. They are pretty much saying I lied and made it up. Then the other mom tells Tom that I verbally attacked her by saying I didn’t want her child in child watch anymore. I tried to explain again that I was told her child had attack 2 other kids. I thought by telling her I was going to talk to Tom was the adult thing to do. By this time I grabbed Agnes, signed her out, and went to the front desk to cancel my membership. Now, this isn’t a daily childcare this is child watch for when you are working out. You don’t pay for it. It is a free service so it isn’t like I want this kid to get kicked out of childcare. Tom came up to the desk while I was filling out the paperwork and told me he was going to think about what his decision was going to be. By this time Sean had gotten there and took over for me. He went and talked with Neil who is the head honcho at our YMCA. Neil was extremely upset about how this was handled. He said he would look into it.

Now here is where I need help. Do I leave Agnes in child watch again? I am not worried about the little girl who scratched her but the incompetence of the workers. I still can’t get over that they lied to me and refused to own up to what they told me. I tried to contact the little girls mom but haven't heard back from her. Do I contact her again or do I leave it?

This is enough to make a mama eat loads of cookies and gummi bears!!

Friday Ramblings

Today has been a yummy food day. Miss Agnes and I went to Whole Foods today after I took her to a photo shoot for her “I’m 2” pictures. I can’t believe she is almost 2. Where has the time gone? I digress…we went to Whole Foods to get some raw almonds and bananas. Think I walked out with just almonds and bananas? Uh, no. I needed a Sammie too. Whole Foods has the best chicken salad ever. Stack it on ciabatta bread with some lettuce and it is the perfect lunch. See what happens when I go to that stupid store!

For dinner tonight we are having our Friday tradition; breakfast for dinner. Sometimes we even wear our pajamas. Sean and I thought it would be fun to start our own tradition with Agnes. Something we can do as a family that isn’t expensive, take a lot of work, and is really fun. What do you do for a fun family tradition?

Does anyone else watch the Oscars? I am so excited for Sunday! I have loved watching them since I was kid. I really miss the dance numbers. Hahahaha

I usually make something special for snacks and dinner. I have looked at epicurious.com’s Oscar party ideas and they have some good ones but I am not sure I want to go that gourmet. The recipe for the Guinness pudding (http://www.epicurious.com/cooking/menus/cooknow/recipes/234304) would be amazing. But since I am trying to get skinny that is out of the question. Perhaps if I am a good girl until Saint Patrick’s Day I can make it.

Maybe I could do something along the lines of concession food. Grilled chicken nachos on baked tortilla chips, kosher hot dogs Chicago style, and frozen yogurt with gummi bears. It sounds bad for you but I think it could be made low fat and low cal.

Mmm, gummi bears! This will definitely be the desert for Oscar night.

"Wanna gummy bear? They've been in my pocket for a while, so they're nice and warm..."

Feeling Fiesty!

Am I the only one who misses trans fat? Isn’t that a horrible question? Fat girls shouldn’t miss trans fat. We should be rejoicing the fact that it is being phased out of food!

Even though I try to buy, cook, and eat organic there are times when I just want to be bad. And, I want my bad to taste good. Potato chips don’t taste the same, Girl Scout cookies don’t taste the same, Wendy’s has gotten so bad I won’t eat there anymore. It isn’t that I eat these items often but when I do I want it to be good since it is a treat.

Wendy’s was my treat of treats. The last time I ate there everything tasted like fish. Oh, and this is before the restaurant even served fish! GROSS!! The bun was grey and soggy. It was just a nasty treat. I called the restaurant to tell them and I was informed it was because they no longer cooked with trans fat. I haven’t eaten there since and I won’t. We bought a bag of Lay’s potato chips, which are now made with Sunflower oil. They tasted fine but were completely stale and funky a few days later.

I understand the government is trying to make all of our lives better by restricting trans fats but it sucks that some foods will not taste the same. Maybe this is how I will lose weight since I don’t want to eat any of my good behavior treats anymore. I don’t want to get into a political debate but is it truly the place of our government to tell us what we can and cannot eat?

Maybe I do want to have a debate. Here is another topic that really made me made last night.

Last night on the ABC news program Nightline there was a story about a school district in Pennsylvania that weighs every elementary school child. If the child is overweight a “report card” is sent home to the parents. This seems really mean to me. There was one little boy in Kindergarten who when told he weighed in more than his classmates he sat down, started hitting himself in the head, and calling himself stupid. He is in KINDERGARTEN! Does he really need a blow to self-esteem? The school nurse talked about some of the bigger girls would try to hang a foot of the scale when they were weighed in front of the other students. I haven’t always been fat. In fact in high school I weighed 118. That is very skinny considering I am 5’10”. But in elementary school I was a big kid. I would have wanted to die instead of being weighed in front of my classmates. Is this the schools responsibility? Shouldn’t this be a matter between parents and doctors?

Is a thin child really worth destroying a child’s self-esteem? Maybe schools need to look into healthier school lunches, more gym classes, and some nutrition classes. I think all of our children would be much better off with this plan instead of embarrassing them into the world of skinny.

Terrible Tues.

Today sucked. I woke up, weighed myself, and I am 10 pounds heavier. What the hell?

I have been in the absolutely worst mood all day. Every time I took a bite of something I felt guilty and would end up throwing it away. For lunch I shared a turkey Sammie with Agnes. Dinner was baked chicken, honey glazed carrots, and mac & cheese. I had a few bites of mac & cheese but mainly stuck with the chicken and carrots. So, here I sit on the couch wishing I could have skipped dinner.

I know this is not a healthy view of food. But, I have done something about it. I made the phone call. I have an appointment with my doctor next Thursday. Of course, I lied to the receptionist and told her I need to see him for insomnia. I do have trouble sleeping, but that isn’t why I want to see him. I was too embarrassed to tell her I need to talk to him about how fat I am.

What an uplifting post, which is sure to inspire the masses!

Spawn of Satan

Daughters of Satan leave me alone! I beg of you!

We went to the grocery store today to do our weekly shopping. There was a table of Girl Scouts out front of the store. Sean got me past them on our way in and on our way out. When we got home I notice a few things were missing from our bags so I had to go back to the store. So annoying! Anyhoo, I go back to the store, get my items, and as I am walking out I hear “Would you like to buy some cookies?” I couldn’t resist. I ended up bring home 2 boxes of Thin Mints. I am a bad, bad girl!

Hopefully, if I eat enough Thin Mints it will make me thin! Maybe not but a girl can dream can’t she?

Hives, Heels, and Happiness

What a weekend!

Yesterday was spent taking care of my sweet Miss Agnes. Most of her hives have gone but she still has a couple of scary looking ones on her cheek. Hopefully, those will go down soon.

Today was very special as we watched Cole become a Bar Mitzvah. Cole is the son of one of my very good friends. She has been planning this celebration for over a year! It was one of the most moving ceremonies I have ever seen. It was absolutely beautiful when Ben (Cole’s dad) spoke of arriving at Temple with his child and he would be leaving with a man. There was not a dry eye in the chapel. Even the Rabbi was crying. There is something very special watching a father tell his child how much he loves him and how proud he is.

After the ceremony there was a small Kiddush lunch, which was amazing. I completely behaved myself! I had a few bits of spinach salad, part of a Challah roll, hummus, and a couple bites of carrot cake. I can’t say no to carrot cake it isn’t humanly possible. We were supposed to go to a cocktail/dinner party tonight to finish the celebration but my back was killing me after this morning. I wore high-heeled boots and did a lot of standing. Not so smart after back surgery.So, instead of going to the party I threw together a pretty tasty turkey chili.

It was wonderful seeing my friends today. I was so HAPPY to see them. A couple of my friends whom I haven’t seen in a few years were amazed at my weight loss. It took me by surprise. I see myself as the big, fat girl in the room. I am a big girl. But perhaps I am not as fat as I still think I am. My clothes aren’t as tight as they were last month so I know I must be getting smaller but I don’t see it. I wonder if I should take my measurements every month. Would that be helpful or hurtful? Hmmm, something to ponder.

The Itchy & Scratchy Show

Not much diet stuff to report on today except I didn't go to the gym and I didn't eat much. Agnes had a severe reaction to a prescription of Amoxicillin that she was taking for an ear infection.

I noticed hives all over her legs yesterday when I took off her tights. I called the doctors office to ask them about it. The nurse was a complete *itch. She told me it was the tights and I really should have washed them first. Then she added "Next time you will think twice about not washing her clothes before she wears them or YOU can wear the tights and get the hives.” Every time I tried to explain what I was seeing (hives on her legs, butt, privates, and hands) to her she kept saying “Just give her some Benedryl. It's the tights.” She wouldn’t except anything but the “tights theory”. Not once did this nurse ask for my name or Agnes’. A call that lasted less than 6 minutes made me feel like the dumbest mother on earth.

Okay, maybe I was overreacting. We all overprotective with our kiddies. I called Sean and asked him to pick up some Benedryl. By the time he got home she had these huge bumps ALL over her body. We called after hours and made an appt. for today.

We wake up and they are 1000x times worse. Her entire back, stomach, legs, arms, and some of her face are covered in welts. The poor thing was in hell. We called to see if they could get her in earlier and were told no. Guess what? Wrong answer! We packed her into the car and went anyway. Screw them! We get there and we are taken back to an exam room within minutes. I told the doctor about my phone call with the nurse and she was PISSED! She said she was going to find out who talked to me because it was an obvious reaction to a medication and the outcome could have been a lot worse. And, who threatens a mother with an allergic reaction?

She asked us about our allergies too. Sean isn’t allergic to anything (LUCKY!). I am allergic to Penicillin, Sulfa Drugs, and Steroids. Allergies aren't genetic but if I have them Agnes is more than likely than not to have them. The doctor had 5 of her partners come in to check it out too. They all said it was one of the worst reactions they had ever seen. She prescribed a bunch of stuff for Agnes and it has started to help. A lot of the bumps are going down and she isn’t scratching so much. Poor Baby.

What makes me the angriest is the person I talked to wouldn’t listen to me. If she had Agnes wouldn’t have had to gone through 24 hours of hot, itchy hives. I wanted to find the woman today to say “HA! See, I wasn’t overreacting you stupid cow!”
But, for now I will just cuddle up with Agnes knowing she is going to be feeling much better tomorrow morning and hoping the woman I spoke with wakes up with hives head to toe.

Happy Valentine's Day

I have never liked Valentine's Day. I think it is a mean holiday. When I was single I dreaded this day every year. I hated hearing what all my friends got from their boyfriends, where they went to dinner, and how romantic it was. My worst V-Day has to be 1998. My sister and I sat watching the Bee-Gee's Unplugged on A & E while eating Kentucky Fried Chicken. IT DOES NOT GET ANY WORSE THAN THAT!! Sure, I can laugh about it now but it truly was pathetic. Who knew that 9 years later I would have the best V-Day ever?

Today was a really fun Valentine's Day. I took Miss Agnes to a party at the YMCA. She decorated cookies and had fun playing with the rest of the kiddies. It was cute to see everyone covered in frosting! There is something so wrong about having a cookie decorating party right next to the cardio room!

We didn't exchange presents this year. However, I bought Sean the traditional box of chocolates made out of chocolate. I have gotten him one every year and wanted the tradition to continue. I also told him he had to take the whole thing with him to work tomorrow. No more sweets in this house until Agnes' birthday in April.

Our big thing tonight was our dinner. I made grilled beef tenderloin steaks w/hollandaise, pan seared scallops, and homemade French fries tossed with truffle oil. OMG! It was freaking fantastic. There was so much groaning it was like a food orgasm! It was one of those meals that won't soon be forgotten. Even Agnes was moaning. She really liked the truffle oil and tenderloin. The kid will eat anything.

Dinner was horribly fattening but it was well worth the extra calories. All it mean is no skipping the gym at all for the next couple weeks. In my opinion it you don't splurge a little bit you will have a complete break down of a diet.



COOKIE FUN & TRUFFLE LOVE

Scent of Rose

Today was very unremarkable. Same old routine. Get up, eat brekkie with Agnes, go to the gym, go the store, and come home. Wow, what an exciting life I lead. Jealous?

There was a bit of change. We went to Whole Foods today for rose water. I hadn't been there in a while and now I remember why. I LOVE THAT STORE! I wish I could afford to buy our groceries there. The produce is perfect, the seafood is perfect, the meat is perfect, everything is perfect. It is so not fair the rich get eat better than the rest of us.

Okay, I have stepped off my soap box.

You might be thinking "Why is Michelle buying rose water?". The rose water is for the glaze I made for a batch of scones. I thought a nice way for Sean to start his Valentine's Day would be fresh baked scones. They turned out brilliantly. I cut them into heart shapes and filled them with blueberry preserves and blackberry jam before baking. While they were cooling I spread a glaze of powdered sugar, whipping cream, and rose water on top. Gee, I wonder why I can't lose weight! hahaha When the glaze hit the hot scones my entire house started smell like roses. It is gorgeous and perfect for V-Day. The blackberry jam isn't the best to bake with. I would definitely only use preserves from now on.


Here are a few pictures of them. I thought they turned out really cute.







I did weigh myself today. There are a few pounds off. YAY! But I know my weight fluctuates a few pounds everyday. I only consider 7 lbs or more actual weight loss. I have consciously been eating less the past couple of days because I know tomorrow night is going to be a gorge fest. Plus, I think I deserve to have fresh baked scones for breakfast too.

Fat bottomed girls they'll be riding today...

Nothing like a little Queen to get a post started.

Today was my first day back to the gym after my back surgery. OUCH! I think I did way to much today.

I usually do the elliptical for 45 minutes to an hour. When I get off I am sweaty, sore, and happy. It is such a great feeling. It gives me energy for the whole day. Today I did 45 minutes on a stationary bike. It hurt the entire time I was riding. I felt like one of the 80 year old women who go the YMCA. The only difference is those 80 year old women can run circles around me...even on a good day! As I was shuffling from the cardio room to child watch I ran into my personal trainer. She started laughing at me for shuffling. I swear she wasn't being mean. She is used to seeing me work my butt off. Although, she thought the shuffling hilarious she was extremely happy to see me back so soon after surgery. It felt really nice to work out.

Afterward, Agnes and I headed to the grocery store. We are suppose to get two more days of snow so I wanted to get stocked up on supplies. Kidding!! People seem to panic when the word "snow" is said on the news. Do people really need 5 loaves of bread and 10 pounds of bananas? The store was absolutely nuts. Valentine's Day is on Wednesday and I needed to pick up stuff for the yummy dinner I am making for Sean.

Once Agnes fell to sleep it was time for this mama to take some Percocet, make a sandwich, and watch Passions. I have been very good about food today. I had a ham sammie on whole grain bread with reduced fat Cheez-it crackers. Dinner was great. Pork tenderloin topped with fresh homemade mango salsa, served with black beans, and saffron rice. Delish!

The menu for this week is very healthy except for V-Day night. I am making beef tenderloin steaks, seared scallops, and truffle French fries. Sean does so much for me the least I can do is cook him something fantastic.

Well, it is time to go watch Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations. He is in Ireland tonight. Here is a great blog Tony contributes to every now and again. This is a great post. http://blog.ruhlman.com/ I love him!

Habitual Diet Starter

I start a new diet every Monday. Anyone else out there do this? I do well all week long and then the weekend hits. Like today, Sean took Agnes swimming and out to lunch with his mom so I could have a quiet day. He thought it would be nice if I could do nothing and give my back a chance to heal. It was heaven! He told me he would bring me home lunch. YAY!

My morning was very quiet and peaceful. I had a cup of coffee, watched a movie, and enjoyed the quiet. When he got home he had brought me a small order of cheese enchiladas. I was SO excited. I love Mexican food and I haven't had it in awhile. I took a giant first bite...it was horrible. I can't explain it other than it tasted like it came out of a tin can metal. Complete disappointment. After a small temper tantrum (it was 2 p.m. I hadn't eaten and I was crabby!) he told me he would get me anything I wanted. Anything. Ooooooh, this was my get out of jail free card! Double cheeseburger and French fries from Old School Burgers (a knock off of In N Out burgers)please! I inhaled it.

Now, I sit here feeling guilty as hell. I have a problem with feeling guilty after I eat. I disappoint myself so much when it comes to food. Instead of telling Sean "you don't need to get me anything. I will make a sammie." I get the most fattening, grossest meal possible. Why not get a single burger? Hell no! I want the biggest one possible! I know it isn't normal to feel guilt after eating but I can't help it. If anyone has an idea of how to get over the guilt please, please, please share it with me.

Perhaps I should skip dinner tonight. Nah, tomorrow is start a new diet day. Let the cycle continue.

Trying to take it easy.

I just had back surgery on Thursday. I know I should be taking it easy but it is hard. I am so used to working out everyday that when I can't go I actually crave it. I hate sitting here doing nothing!! I have been eating like crap the past few days too. Fast food, cookies, coconut haystacks. I blame it on the pain medication...sounds like a good excuse, eh?

I made Sean take me to the store so I could get stuff for lunch and dinner. I made a point of purposely going up and down almost every aisle. It felt great to be walking around instead of sitting.

Because cooking is such a large part of my life I decided to make a real dinner tonight. Even though I had back surgery I need to start (slowly) doing everyday things.

Here is what on todays menu:

Lunch - Turkey sammie with blueberry preserves and leftover D'Affinois cheese. Yes, D'Affinois triple cream cheese is horribly bad for me but I couldn't let it go to waste! See, this is what I am talking about. I can't say no to good food. GAH!

Dinner - Roast chicken and carrots with Manchengo mashed potatoes. Sure, Manchengo mashers seem really fattening but they aren't too bad. Potatoes, Manchengo cheese, roasted garlic and olive oil. No butter.


Does anyone know if Diet Cokes count towards daily water intake?

Reader Participation

I would love some reader participation. If you have recipes, work out routines, or stories you would like to share please do!

I am game for having weight loss buddies too. Maybe we can start a gang of chubby girls on our way to be skinny!!

It is my time to shine

Hi. My name is Michelle and I'm fat. I have tried for years to lose weight. Any crazy diet that came along I tried. Some worked. Some didn't. I gained a ton of weight when I was pregnant. Almost twice as much as you are suppose to but I refuse to use this as an excuse for my weight. I should have lost the baby weight already. There is no excuse for being as fat as I am.

In April of 2005 I gave birth to my daughter Agnes. She is my inspiration to lose weight. Who wants to be the fat mom? NOT ME! I don't want her to be embarrassed of me. I want to be able to keep up with and maybe coach her soccer team when she is old enough to play. I want to be able to ride rides with her at amusement parks and not worry that my fat ass won't fit in the seat.

My husband and I travel a lot. We tend to go to tropical locations. It has never bothered me being the fattest girl on the beach because I would never see those people again. Well, it bothers me now. It bothers me so much. Now instead of being excited for vacations I worry about people making fun of me or not wanting to sit next to me on a plane. Or even worse being made to buy a second seat because of my fat butt. I KNOW I am not that large but if you have ever been overweight you know exactly what I am talking about.

In April 2006 I joined the YMCA. I have been going almost every single day since and dropped 30 lbs. There have been a couple setbacks. I had a tear in my achilles this past Fall so I missed a few weeks. I have been dealing with a bad back for over a year too. In September my doctor gave me the medication Lyrica to help with my back pain. It didn't help with the back pain but I gained every one of those 30 pounds back! After the cast was taken off my foot I have started back at the gym everyday. I have dropped 16 of the 30 pounds. Not too bad. Yesterday, Feb. 8 I had back surgery. I am suppose to take it easy for the next fews day but should be back at the gym next week. I can't do heavy cardio but any kind of activity is good. With my back finally in shape and not taking anymore pain meds I am really hoping the weight starts melting off.

I am also considering asking my doctor if I can come in for monthly weigh-ins. If I have to weigh myself in front of him I might be more likely to stick to a diet. I am not worried about not going to the gym. I am completely addicted to it. Where I fail is food. I eat to much. I eat foods that are good for me and I eat foods that are bad for me. I am a foodie but that is a whole other blog!

This blog will be the combo of a food diary, a place to vent, and a place to keep a tally of what I gain and LOSE! However, I won't be telling how much I weigh until I am down to my goal weight. I would love to be 118 like I was in high school but that is just never going to happen. To be more realistic according to Webmd.com a healthy weight would be 150-175 lbs. I would like to get closer to 150 but I would take 175!!! I know I will never be as skinny as a Victoria's Secret model or a super model. I am fine with that. My goal is to get to the ideal weight for my height.

I guess I should post some pictures soon so I can have a before and after post when I hit my goal!

THIS IS MY YEAR TO GET SKINNY!!